Maze in my Mind #4: Butterfly of the Frost

Here is a note that I left for myself. It reads “Moth of the winter. Butterfly of the frost.”  

I was outside last week when the sleet started. I was sitting alone on a bench in the woods– feeling very low and gazing despondently at the brittle, barren branches that surrounded me on all sides– when the ice began to fall. As the wind froze my face and the cold pellets bounced off of the ground all around me, it seemed like the perfect time for me to look towards the cloudy sky and ask aloud if things could possibly get any worse.

Later in the day, the clouds cleared away and the Sun found its place in the sky, as it always does eventually. The temperature warmed to just above the freezing mark and the gusty wind subsided, leaving only a slight breeze in its wake. It was about this time– late afternoon– when I was walking to my car, ready to head home after a long, strenuous day. All day I had been looking for a sign of hope, and while anything obvious had remained elusive, I was glad that at least the worst of the storm seemed to have past.  As I reached to open my car door, I was halted by an erratic fluttering of wings appearing suddenly in front of my eyes. I took a dazed step back, and stared confused at what I saw. It was a large blue moth, floating through the air, hovering directly above my silver, snow-coated car. It took a second for me to notice the novelty. This was late December, the dead of winter, yet this tiny creature had found a way to fly.  Butterfly wings beating to the backdrop of snow. I quickly made a note in my phone.

Note to Self

Of course, I know it’s true that we see what we want to see in our lives. But maybe, just maybe, it is also true that sometimes we are shown the things that we need to see. I was inspired by the sight that I beheld that afternoon, by the tiny, blue moth that survived the sleet. Today is January first. This New Year, I resolve that I will spread my wings in the cold, and fly, against all odds, to new heights. Like a butterfly in the frost.

-Garrett Ashe

 

I will have my next short fiction story up by Thursday night. It will play on these themes of transformation and ascertaining the truth behind the things we see.

(Read previous “maze in my mind” posts)

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The Famished Heart

The Famished Heart

This fucking hole where my heart used to be.
Starved and Emptied.
I fill it with Sadness. But drain it as the tears begin to drown me.
And it’s empty again.
I fill it with Hate. But douse it as the flames begin to melt me.
And it’s empty again.
Empty and Painful.
This fucking hole where my heart used to be.

I need to find a way to fill it with me.

-Garrett Ashe

(Maze in my Mind #2)

Lately I’ve been through a lot of emotional turmoil. This quick poem, written today, is a reflection of some of that pain. Later today, I will post a short story that also plays on the pain of heartache- A story that chronicles the events of a real-life Fairy Tale gone wrong. (The Little Glass Lie)

~G~

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Maze in my Mind #1

Every blog needs that personal touch. I’m starting this new section where I let readers explore a little piece of my mind… Careful, sometimes it gets pretty dark in there.  If you’re looking for this section in the future, there should be a permanent link in the sidebar under “Categories.”

Maybe you’ll identify with some of the things I talk about: Musings, fears, emotions. Feel free to share a piece of your own mind here as well, as we wander together, Into the maze…

 

 

For personal writings, including poetry and nonfiction, get lost in the Maze in my Mind.

Maze in my Mind

 

 

 

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